Hold my Hand
by 1221bookworm
Summary: A look into Mel and Vidanric's relationship after the fighting is done, and the battle for their future has begun.


**_A/N: The title gives away the prompt that inspired this piece. A look into Mel and Vidanric learning to cement their relationship and navigate courtly intrigue._**

"Whew." I threw myself down on the cushions, feeling my skirts billow around me. Vidanric looked up from the document he was reading.

"I was wondering what had delayed you." He dropped the paper back onto the stack, reaching for his coffee instead.

Leaning my arms on the desk, I reached over and hooked a sausage off his plate and popped it into my mouth. "Trish cornered me outside the library to ask if I wanted to come on her ride tomorrow. She's starting to suspect about us, because she dropped your name instead of Savona's to entice me."

"Trish has always been the most perceptive among our friends. I'm certain she won't have mentioned it to anyone." Vidanric moved from behind the desk so he wouldn't be tempted to glance over his letters during lunch.

I sighed, scooting closer to him. "I'm not good at subtle. The whole court probably knows, they're just being too polite to say anything." His eyes crinkled, and I could tell he was holding back his laugh. I stuck my tongue out at him.

"We've come a long way from the cold shoulder you were giving me." He put his arm around me, and I leaned into the embrace. "So, perhaps I've been lacking in the subtlety department as well." He leaned closer and his lips ghosted over mine.

"As if you could ever be anything but subtle." I tried to deepen the kiss, but he was pulling back.

"I have an appointment, and if I don't eat any of this lunch, I'm very much afraid my mother will not be subtle about her displeasure."

I wrinkled my nose. "I know. She scolded me the other day because Savona told her I didn't order your lunch."

With raised brows, Vidanric took a bite of his meal. "I'm afraid my mother thinks I'm incapable of taking care of myself and therefore need a babysitter. And Russav is only too happy to hand off the responsibilities to you."

"He doesn't need to sabotage me!" I exclaimed through a mouthful of food.

Vidanric smiled fondly. "Mother can be surprisingly intimidating. Russav probably had to save his own skin by sacrificing yours."

I crossed my arms, fixing Vidanric with my best impression of his mother's penetrating gaze. "I don't appreciate it."

With a real laugh, Vidanric stood to leave. "Perhaps we can confront Mother together and inform her that I am in need of a wife and not a nanny. Until then," he bent down and kissed my brow. "Business waits."

I sat in the little alcove a while longer, enjoying the solitude. Bran and Nee's wedding had gone off beautifully, and they had returned to Tlanth last week. If anyone asked, I was staying in Athaneral only long enough for them to have a proper honeymoon before I returned to my home. My sudden reappearance at Court? Why, that was simply because I had time on my hands now that the wedding was over. Not that I had helped Nee much with the planning; except for my party, which had been time consuming enough, I hadn't been involved at all.

Vidanric called them simple misdirection's instead of outright lies. I had laughed in his face, but admitted to myself that I could see the wisdom in the sentiment. When any group of people lived in such close proximity to each other, gossip was inevitable. Learning to direct their attention away from your own struggles, without casting them on to another victim, was invaluable self-preservation.

My reverie was interrupted by Savona, who pushed the curtain aside with a hasty hand, without even a knock to announce his presence.

At least he had the decency to look ashamed. "It was so quiet in here, I was sure Vidanric was scratching away. I assume he's off to his meeting?"

He gave a short nod, when I confirmed where Vidanric had been headed. "That doesn't mean he's gotten there, yet." I added. He was often waylaid in the halls.

Savona shrugged, throwing himself down on the cushion Vidanric had abandoned and helping himself to the remnants of their lunch. "Not my assignment. I was just told to make sure he had remembered to leave work."

My sigh rustled the papers on the desk, and Savona looked at me quizzically. I answered the unasked question. "We were just discussing his mother's impression that he needs someone to watch him or he won't do his work."

"Nah, it's just the opposite. She thinks he won't stop work. But the result is the same. Aunt Elestra is always keeping tabs on him, and we have to do the dirty work."

I sighed again, too exhausted with the subject to rehash the Princess' motives. I closed my eyes, reviewing my own, considerably fewer, responsibilities for the afternoon, and remembered I owed Trish an answer about her ride tomorrow. I glanced at Savona out of the corner of my eye.

"Do you think anyone suspects that Vidanric and I are a couple?"

Savona sat back, appraising me. When he did that, he looked very much like his cousin, but his eyes showed mirth instead of calculation. "Ho, ho. So you think you've mastered courtly artifice so well that no one can tell you're in love?"

My cheeks reddened, and I mumbled, "That's not what I asked."

With a shrug, Savona returned to his meal. "It's rather obvious you're in love. But then again, I'm the expert, and I could tell you were in love from the moment you arrived."

I didn't believe him. My face must have given it away, because he grinned. "Oh, my dear Meliara, it was painfully obvious you were in love with him. And it was equally, no actually, _distressingly_ obvious that my dear cousin was in love with you."

"How?" I challenged him. I couldn't tell if he was joking with me or if he truly believed what he said.

"The way you avoided each other. No, listen," he held up a finger to silence my protests. "It wasn't just that you avoided each other, it was the way you checked to make sure you were avoiding each other. And the reaction on your faces when you saw each other with anyone else."

"So what's changed? Besides the obvious that we both know that we're in love with each other?"

"Now you check where the other is standing and smile. And you aren't sitting halfway across the room from him, and you're not constantly hiding behind Nee and Bran when you're at a party."

I looked down at my own plate, suddenly uninterested in my lunch. "So, it's probably all over court that I've decided to throw my hat in the ring for a queenship?"

Savona's face closed. I didn't realize how closely I had studied his features until I saw the result of my words. I mentally kicked myself for being so stupid. What a terrible choice of words when Tamara had so recently behaved in a similar manner. "I believe most of the court has realized the queenship won't be easily wooed, and have abandoned the prospect."

Unsure of how to respond, I placed my hand on his arm. "That leaves them free to pursue other prospects, doesn't it?"

The old Savona was back, all careless ease. "Perhaps, but I am the one who is out the attention I received from a special lady." His quick grin told me he meant me, but his tone was not as flirtatious as previous exchanges. I figured Vidanric had told him I knew his courtship was false; I also realized that his over the top mannerisms were as much a mask as Vidanric's cold reserve.

I returned to the original subject, unsure how to proceed with this new kind of friendship forming between myself and the Duke of Savona. I realized that a relationship with Vidanric would include the Duke; for, despite their relation as cousins, they treated each other more as brothers.

"So, it's safe to say, we should begin to show a bit more affection in public so as not to shock the court with our announcement?"

Russav grinned. "It has always been my goal in life to shock the court. Though, given your history, any display of particular choice on your part may be shock enough."

I groaned, but was saved from crafting a retort by a runner appearing with a new stack of dispatches to be added to the pile already waiting on Vidanric's desk. I used the distraction to escape, and return to my own room.

I stared into my closet for a long time before dressing for dinner that night. There was to be a concert afterwards, one arranged by his mother. No dancing. Which was good. I had worked up my resolve for tonight's plan, I was quite sure dancing would have undone my nerve. I had many dresses suitable for the occasion, but looking one's best always made one feel as if one could conquer any obstacle in one's path. I also wanted to pick one that Vidanric would find particularly attractive, to add credence to my plan.

Settling on one in green that I was told accentuated the highlights in my hair, I pulled on the outfit as if it was armor. Jewel encrusted armor, but armor just the same. For this was a fight of conjecture and hidden meanings, and everything from my actions to my appearance would be scrutinized.

Reviewing myself in the mirror, I made one final adjustment. I picked up the ring Vidanric had sent me and slipped it onto my hand. This time, I was careful to slip it onto the finger that implied a relationship with the giver.

Dinner was an agonizing affair with the nerves that fluttered in my chest. Without Nee and Bran, I had no one to rally behind, and, while some of them had begun to show warmth, there was none of that particular kind of friendship that one could turn to for support. It didn't help that I was seated beside Elenet. I was quite aware that my actions tonight would hurt her. I knew how the gossip would turn on her, and worried that I hadn't considered all the consequences when I had crafted this plan. There was still time to call it off, for it only existed inside my head. Perhaps I should meet with her first. And what? Ask her permission to court Vidanric? She had instinctively known that I was a contender for Vidanric's heart, and had kept herself guarded around me. I worried my napkin in my lap. I needed to go through with this before my resolve faltered. I promised myself I would find a way to protect Elenet from the impending storm. I could go out of my way to show her courtesy. That should help with public humiliation, though I also recognized there was little I could do about her private pain of losing Vidanric as a lover.

When we moved into the adjoining room to enjoy the concert, I positioned myself next to Vidanric. It hadn't been exactly easy, as there were many who would claim spots where a few whispered words could pass undetected. I had slipped in between Vidanric and Russav as the latter attempted to prevent his cousin from some of the headache. Russav had grinned at me as if divining my plan, creating a place for me where there would have been none.

Vidanric smiled courteously at me as I slipped into place, the polite court mask in place. The music started, and I allowed it to fill my soul, forcing out the fear that resided there.

My heart pounded in time with the music, when, three songs in, I had still not made my move. The upbeat tempo of this particular piece was driving me to lightheadedness with the pace of my heartbeat. I couldn't help wonder if I couldn't accomplish the same goal by passing out, and thus sparing myself some of the agony of the Court's response.

I took deep, cleansing breaths as the music changed, a hauntingly beautiful melody of longing. If there was going to be a time, this was going to be it. I stretched out my arm, aware of the distance between myself and Vidanric. My movement had attracted his attention, and he eyes lifted, a silent question.

I couldn't hear the music anymore, couldn't see our opulent surroundings. My entire being was focused on the distance between my hand and Vidanric. And on his face. "Hold my hand." I mouthed it at him, suddenly fearing I should not have embarked on this journey alone, but with careful planning and input from him as well.

He didn't seem offended. At least, I didn't think he was, but we were still in public, and his manner was still that of a soon-to-be king, his mask in place to protect him from prying eyes. He inclined his head at me as if requesting my permission. I didn't dare to breath as I gave him a single, slow blink, afraid he would not understand my silent communication, and would think I was somehow rejecting him.

In my mind, the movement happened slowly, though to onlookers it must have taken no more than an instant. His hand moved from his lap, reached across the space between us, and grasped mine. Its warmth was comforting against the clamminess of my own palm. His thumb moved gently over my knuckles, reassuring me of its presence.

I dared a quick look in his direction, and was shocked to find his gaze turned to me. The mask was still there; however, I could detect the warmth in his eyes as he looked at me. The smile tugging at his lips would be inappropriate to the climax of soulful distress that the musicians played, oblivious to the drama within our own lives.

As the last note was swallowed by the room, and the courtiers responded with polite applause, we separated. My hand felt cold with the sudden lack of flesh against my own, and my mind immediately reviewed the previous moments. Had Vidanric pulled away too quickly to applaud? As if my hand was burning his with its presence? I swallowed, afraid to look at him as the musicians graciously accepted the accolades and began another piece. My own thoughts were so loud inside my head, I barely registered the tune. My hands were folded in my lap, properly, as Nee had taught me. I stared down at them, watched the light sparkle on my ring.

Suddenly, a new hand entered my vision. Long fingers cupped mine, drawing it out, filling it with warmth. My head jerked up, and I looked right into Vidanric's eyes. There was a true smile there now, not a trace of his mask. My stomach summersaulted at the course that now lay before us. We had done it. We had claimed each other. Anyone watching would see us both reach for each other's hand.

At the end of the evening, Vidanric raised my hand to his lips as he bowed. "What a wonderful evening, Lady Meliara." The intensity in his eyes burned through any mask he may have attempted. I smiled back, hoping my face showed only exhilaration and none of the apprehension. It must have worked, for even the drawl was gone when he added, "I hope it will be repeated soon and often." With a final bow, he was gone; speaking to other guests as they trickled out.

I retreated out the back way, turning to brace myself against the wall, leaning my head onto the stones behind me. My heart was so full I was sure it was going to burst. It had worked. My plan had been successful, and it filled me with a satisfaction that was nearly heady with relief.

The step of boot on stone caused me to open my eyes, and I found Vidanric standing in front of me. Wordlessly, his arms were around my waist, his lips on mine.

"Thank you." The simple words were filled with meaning. I had chosen him, chosen love over hate, and a future that included him. And the throne.

Pressing a final kiss to my lips, he stepped back, arm extended. "Hold my hand?" He asked. I reached out and grasped it, holding it tightly.

 **NaNoWriMo 2017 word count: 2,734**


End file.
